What to Do When Life Isn’t Going the Way You Want

So, life isn't going the way you want, huh? Let’s face it, sometimes life feels like a bad movie where you can’t find the remote.

Nothing is working, nothing makes sense, and you’re pretty sure the universe accidentally put your name on the wrong script.

If that’s where you are right now, don’t panic. You’re not alone, and no, it’s not permanent. You just need a little reset, some practical tips, and maybe a sprinkle of optimism - trust me, it helps.

If your life feels more survival mode than thriving mode, it’s time to get clear on what’s wrong and how to fix it. And because I’m a coach who’s helped plenty of people navigate the same storm, I’ve got your back.

Ready? Grab a coffee, maybe a notebook, and let’s get you back on track.

Step 1: Acknowledge How You Feel.

When life isn’t going your way, the first thing you’re tempted to do is ignore it. Classic mistake. Suppressing how you feel works about as well as stuffing an overfilled suitcase - something’s gonna pop, and it’ll be messy.

Start here. Write about what’s bothering you. Be brutally honest - no one’s grading this. If journaling isn’t your thing, grab a friend.

Let it out. Ask yourself what areas of your life feel most off track. Is it your relationship, career, health, or all of the above?

Don’t worry, we’ll sort it out. You can’t fix a problem you won’t admit exists. Plus, clarity feels like a deep breath in the chaos.

Step 2: Use Logical Levels For Awareness

If you’ve never heard of Robert Dilts’s Logical Levels, prepare for your mind to be blown. This framework is like GPS for figuring out what’s really wrong in your life and what to do about it.

Here’s the gist: there are six levels of how we experience and influence life.

Environment is where and when stuff happens, like your surroundings, the people, and the vibes.

Behaviors are what you do (or don’t do) every day.

Capabilities are your skills and knowledge - basically, what you can do.

Beliefs and values explain why you do what you do. This is where a lot of people get stuck.

Identity is who you believe you are at your core.

Purpose is the big picture, why you’re here, and what lights you up inside.

The beauty of this model is that it’ll tell you exactly where the problem lies. Is it external, like your environment? Internal, like your beliefs? Or something bigger, like your purpose?

Step 3: Identify Where Things Are Broken

Here’s a quick guide to reflect on each level.

Start with your environment. Ask yourself if your current surroundings are supporting you or making you miserable.

Maybe your workspace is more toxic than a reality TV reunion. Your apartment might feel cluttered and uninspiring, or your social circle drains your energy faster than your phone battery.

Next, look at your behaviors. What are you doing that’s sabotaging you? Are you hitting snooze 27 times instead of waking up early?

Maybe you’re watching Netflix instead of tackling that big project or eating cereal for dinner again instead of cooking something nutritious.

Now check your capabilities. Do you have the skills you need to move forward? Maybe you’re stuck in your career because you need to upskill, or you can’t stick to habits because no one taught you how to build them.

Move on to your beliefs and values. Ask yourself if you’re holding onto limiting beliefs. Do you tell yourself you’re not good enough or that you’ll never succeed? Are your priorities in line with what you actually want?

Examine your identity. Does your current self-image match who you want to be? Maybe you still see yourself as the underdog or the procrastinator. It’s time to rewrite the script.

Finally, reconnect with your purpose. Are you connected to something meaningful? If you feel adrift, it might be because you’ve lost touch with what inspires you.

Step 4: Take Action

Once you know where things are breaking down, it’s time to fix them.

Start with your environment. Clean your space. A cluttered home equals a cluttered mind. Change your scenery.

Go for a walk, work in a coffee shop, or escape on a weekend trip. Surround yourself with people who lift you up, not weigh you down.

Next, change your behaviors. Identify one bad habit and ditch it. Build new, tiny habits that make you feel in control.

Ten minutes of exercise every morning is a good place to start. Set small goals. Winning small builds confidence for big wins.

Upgrade your capabilities by learning something new. Take a course, read a book, or find a mentor - like me. Invest in yourself. Your skills are worth the time and money.

Challenge your beliefs by recognizing the negative stories you tell yourself. Instead of saying, “I can’t do this,” reframe it as, “I’m learning how to do this.” Replace limiting beliefs with empowering ones.

Upgrade your identity by acting like the person you want to be. Visualize success daily. It might feel cheesy, but it works. Use affirmations like, “I am confident, capable, and ready for change.”

Reconnect with your purpose by asking yourself what makes you come alive. Do something meaningful.

Volunteer, mentor someone, or start a passion project. Practice gratitude daily. It’s hard to feel stuck when you focus on what’s good.

Step 5: Get Support

Sometimes, you’re too close to the problem to see a solution. That’s where a coach, counselor, or mentor comes in.

A good coach, like me - see what I did there? - helps you identify what’s holding you back, develop a clear action plan, and stay accountable. Support matters. Don’t try to white-knuckle your way through life’s mess.

Step 6: Be Patient and Keep Moving

Look, Rome wasn’t built in a day, and your life won’t magically fix itself overnight. Change takes time.

Expect setbacks. Celebrate tiny wins. Keep going, even when it’s hard. Here’s the truth; You’re not stuck forever.

The fact that you’re reading this means you’re ready to take back control. And trust me, you can. I’ve seen people go from hopeless to thriving, all because they decided to take action.

Something To Think About

Life might feel like it’s falling apart right now, but sometimes, that’s just the beginning of something better. When life feels like a mess, it’s easy to believe you’ll never climb out.

But here’s the truth: this moment isn’t a sentence; it’s an invitation. The universe is saying, “Hey, it’s time to make a change.”

Whether you’re stuck because of your environment, habits, beliefs, or a lack of direction, you have the power to shift things - even if you start small.

Take a breath and ask yourself what’s one thing you can do today that brings you closer to the life you want.

Maybe it’s cleaning your desk, making a tough phone call, or setting a timer to work on that passion project you’ve been avoiding.

Every tiny action matters because momentum builds. The smallest step is still a step - and sometimes, it’s the first one that matters the most.

Growth happens when you stop waiting for the perfect moment and start creating it. Use the Logical Levels to identify what’s holding you back, then tackle it one level at a time.

If your environment feels chaotic, bring a little order. Are your habits a mess? Then swap one for something better. If your beliefs are keeping you stuck, challenge them.

Life will begin to shift when you decide to show up for yourself, no matter how imperfectly.

And remember, you don’t have to do it alone. If you need guidance, support, or just someone who gets it, I’m here.

Coaching isn’t just about fixing problems; it’s about helping you see what’s possible when you start believing in yourself.

So what’s next? Decide to take the first step. The life you want is waiting - but you have to go get it. And trust me, you absolutely can.

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