Toxic Relationships - The Love That Keeps You Trapped

You can’t level up while surrounded by people pulling you down. It’s time to face the truth about toxic relationships.

You can meditate, journal, plan, and visualize all you want, but if you’re surrounded by toxic energy, good luck growing.

Toxic relationships are the emotional equivalent of walking around with your shoelaces tied together. You try to move forward, but something keeps tripping you up. And you start to wonder… Is it me?

Well, it might not be. In fact, it probably isn't.

Toxic doesn’t always mean abusive. Sometimes it’s subtle - the friend who rolls their eyes at your ambition. The partner who gets weird every time you succeed. The coworker who quietly celebrates when you mess up.

It’s the passive-aggressive digs. The lack of support. The invisible weight you carry after every conversation.

And here’s the worst part: toxic relationships don’t just hurt your feelings. They rewire your self-belief. You start shrinking your ideas to avoid judgment and stop sharing your wins. You delay your goals because you’re too drained to care.

And then one day you wake up wondering where your spark went. Why everything feels so heavy. Why you don’t feel like you anymore.

This post is here to snap you out of that fog. We’re going to break down what toxic relationships actually look like, how they impact your goals more than you think, and what you can do to protect your energy, without ghosting your entire life.

Because the truth is: you don’t owe anyone access to your potential. Especially not the ones who poison it.

How Toxic Relationships Sabotage Your Goals

Toxic relationships don’t just hurt emotionally, they quietly destroy your momentum. One eye-roll at a time.

The Subtle Start

It usually begins small. A sarcastic comment. A backhanded compliment. A “harmless” joke that sticks in your brain for days. You tell yourself it’s not a big deal. You brush it off because that’s just how they are.

But those little moments? They chip away at your confidence like termites in the foundation.

The Confidence Leak

Here’s what I’ve seen over and over, and experienced myself: nothing derails your growth faster than feeling unsupported by someone close.

You start second-guessing your goals. You shrink your dreams just a little, trying not to make waves. Then you avoid sharing your wins because they don’t clap when you win. Instead, they flinch.

Toxic relationships don’t just challenge your self-belief. They rewrite it.

When Your Growth Threatens Them

The hard truth? Some people feel threatened when you grow. Your progress reminds them of their own stuckness. Instead of rising with you, they pull you down.

Not because you're doing anything wrong, but because staying small makes them feel more secure.

I had a client who was building a creative business. Every time she shared a win, her partner would hit her with: “That’s cute” or “Don’t get your hopes up.”

Over time, she stopped sharing altogether. Then she stopped trying. And eventually, she started believing maybe she didn’t even want it anymore.

She did want it. She just didn’t want to fight for it at home.

The Silent Self-Sabotage

Toxic dynamics don’t always scream abuse. Sometimes, they whisper doubt. They make you feel like you have to choose between love and ambition. Between being liked and being honest.

So you slow yourself down to keep someone else comfortable. You downplay your desires. You hold back your potential, not because you’re lazy, but because you’re trying not to outgrow someone you care about.

But here’s the question I always ask:

What’s more painful, disappointing them, or betraying yourself?

Growth Is Not a Threat

People who love you won’t be threatened by your expansion. They’ll support it, even if it challenges them.

And if they don’t? That’s not a sign to shrink. It’s a sign to set boundaries.

In the next section, we’ll dive into the red flags to watch for while you chase your goals.

How to Recognize a Toxic Relationship Before It Derails Your Goals

Some toxic relationships are obvious - shouting, manipulation, betrayal. But the most dangerous ones? They're quiet. Polite. Subtly corrosive.

They wear the mask of love. Support. “Just being honest.” But underneath that? It’s insecurity. Control. Fear of your growth. Let’s talk about how to spot it before it costs you your confidence.

They Downplay Your Wins

You tell them you hit a milestone, they change the subject, mock it, or offer a weak “cool.” It’s not a celebration. It’s a speed bump.

And after a while, you stop sharing good news. Not because you don’t have any, but because it doesn’t feel safe to be proud.

They Make You Second-Guess Yourself

Ever had someone respond to your excitement with: “You really think that’s going to work?” or “Are you sure that’s smart?”

It’s rarely curiosity. It’s control disguised as concern. And if you hear it enough times, it becomes your inner voice.

You Feel Emotionally Drained After Seeing Them

Pay attention to your body. After time with them, do you feel energized? Inspired? Or heavy? Numb? Like your fire got dimmed?

That’s not you being dramatic. That’s your nervous system whispering, “This isn’t safe.”

They “Support” You Until You Actually Start Succeeding

This one’s sneaky. They’ll cheer you on… until you start shining too brightly. Then come the jokes, the withdrawal, the tension.

Suddenly your goals are “changing you.” You’re “not fun anymore.” You’ve “forgotten where you came from.”

But guess what? Growth doesn’t erase who you are; it reveals who you are. People who love you will recognize that. People who don’t… won’t.

You’re Always the Problem

In healthy relationships, people take responsibility. In toxic ones? You’re always to blame.

Your boundaries are “selfish.” Your ambition is “obsessive.” And your success is “too much.”

They twist your wins into character flaws and make you question your drive. That’s not love. That’s sabotage dressed in codependency.

Your Instincts Are Trying to Warn You

Here’s the hardest truth: if you’ve been questioning a relationship for a while, it’s usually for a reason.

We override our gut because we want people to be better. We hope love will make them change. But your energy is not a sacrifice for someone else’s comfort. And your goals are not up for negotiation.

If someone makes you feel smaller every time you try to expand, it’s not love. It’s fear.

In the next section, we’ll talk about what to do when you realize a relationship is holding you back and how to move forward without guilt.

What to Do When a Toxic Relationship Is Holding You Back

Realizing someone you care about is draining your energy, killing your confidence, or blocking your growth? Brutal. But also liberating. Because once you see it, you get to do something about it.

And no, it doesn’t always mean cutting people off and setting their birthday cake on fire. There’s a spectrum of action. Let’s walk through it.

Get Honest With Yourself

Stop sugarcoating. If someone constantly makes you feel small, confused, guilty, or unsupported, that’s a problem. No matter how long you’ve known them. No matter how “good” they are when they’re not being toxic. You can’t fix what you refuse to admit. And you can’t outgrow what you won’t name.

This is about you - your values, your vision, your peace. Not their intentions.

Observe Before You Confront

Before you stage a dramatic intervention, just… pay attention.

What do they say when you talk about your goals? Do they mock, belittle, ignore, or discourage? Do they try to pull you back when you’re making progress?

Write it down. Not to build a case against them, but to build clarity for yourself. Emotions lie. Patterns don’t.

Set Boundaries. Clearly

Now the hard part. Boundaries.

This doesn’t mean giving them the silent treatment. It means speaking the truth without apologizing for it.

“I’ve noticed that when I share my wins, I don’t feel supported. That matters to me.”

“I’m focused on a goal right now. I won’t be available for as much venting.”

“I care about you, but I need to protect my energy.”

It’s uncomfortable. But so is staying small to keep someone else comfortable.

And here’s the thing to remember: healthy people respect boundaries. Toxic ones see them as a betrayal.

Create Distance If Needed

Not every toxic relationship needs a dramatic breakup. Sometimes you just need space. Less contact. More emotional detachment.

Reduce the calls. Limit the oversharing. Stop asking them for advice they’re not qualified to give.

You’re not abandoning them. You’re choosing you. And if the relationship starts fading after that? It wasn’t rooted in mutual respect. It was rooted in control.

Build a Supportive Environment

Removing toxicity creates a vacuum. You’ve got to fill it intentionally.

Surround yourself with people who get it. Who cheer when you win, challenge you when you hide, and remind you who you are when you forget.

If your current circle doesn’t do that, it’s time to build a new one.

Books, podcasts, mentors, group chats. Your environment will shape your reality. Choose one that reflects your future, not your fear.

Final Reminder: You’re Allowed to Outgrow People

This is the part most people choke on.

We think we’re bad for moving on. Disloyal. Arrogant. Ungrateful. But outgrowing people doesn’t mean you don’t love them. It just means you love yourself enough to keep growing.

Some people are chapters. Others are footnotes. Very few are meant to be the whole book.

Let them be what they were. Then move forward. You’ve got places to go, goals to reach, and a life to build. And the people who belong in your future? They’ll never ask you to dim your light to fit in their shadow.

Something To Think About

Let’s be real, toxic relationships are one of the sneakiest dream-killers out there. Not because they’re always loud or obvious. But because they disguise themselves as love, loyalty, or obligation.

You convince yourself it’s “not that bad,” until one day, your goals are on life support and your energy’s flatlined.

You can’t build a powerful future while dragging around relationships rooted in guilt, jealousy, or emotional manipulation. That’s like running a marathon with ankle weights made of other people’s issues.

Here’s the hard truth: you don’t owe anyone your potential. Not your childhood friend who mocks your ambition. Not your partner who shrinks every time you grow. And not even your family who doesn’t believe in you, because they never believed in themselves.

You get one life. And if someone keeps making you question your worth, your vision, or your direction, they’ve forfeited the right to shape your story. It’s not cold. It’s clarity.

So take stock. Who drains you? Who doubts you? Who's downplaying your dreams?

And then ask yourself: If I keep this person at the center of my life, where will I be a year from now?

Now ask the harder one: Do I really want that to be my future? You’re allowed to choose differently. And choosing yourself? That’s not selfish, that’s survival.

This post was all about toxic relationships.