How To Get Over Your Ex: Ways To Move On With Life

How to get over your ex

Starting with good news, there ARE ways how to get over your ex. Bad news: Breaking up is hard to do. There, I said it — something that's been said so often it's become cliché, but it's a cliché because it's true.

Whether you've ended a toxic relationship or said goodbye to a best friend turned lover, dealing with the aftermath of a breakup is a hard pill to swallow, almost as if you've lost a part of yourself.

How long does it take to get over your ex?

It doesn't matter if it's the first or one of many past relationships; each break-up has its unique brand of pain, a personalized cocktail of negative emotions. So if you're wondering how to get over your ex fast then I advise you to throw any kind of timeline you have in the trash, right now. This is a process and it's different for everyone, every time.

In Short

The good news is, you're not alone in this journey. Everyone from your close friends to a family therapist would tell you that it's possible to not just survive but to thrive after a breakup. You're allowed to mourn, to grieve for the good times that now feel like treasured Polaroids from another life. But amidst the chaos, it's essential to remember that healing is not linear and each person's healing process is unique. 

Perhaps one of the most challenging aspects of modern break-ups is the digital ghost that remains on social media, a constant stream of memories curated through algorithms with no regard for your heart. But have you ever heard of the 'no contact rule'? It's often touted as one of the best ways to start moving on, a digital detox of sorts, meant to help you recalibrate your emotions without the constant reminders of what once was - even if they seemed like good things at the time. 

There's a light at the end of the tunnel.

Now, this might seem like the end of the world but trust me, it's not. This could be the beginning of a journey of self-discovery, a chance to reflect and learn about yourself and what you want in a future partner. It might seem hard to believe right now, but letting go of a relationship that wasn't right for you opens up a space for better things, maybe even a new partner when the time is right. 

It's a good idea to surround yourself with positivity and support during this time. Remember, your best friend during this time can be yourself. Love yourself, be kind to yourself, and give yourself the time you need to heal. Just know, it might take a long time, and that's okay. 

Have a read of this: A Letter For When The Relationship Ended

Here we'll explore the best way to navigate the rough seas of a break-up and the steps toward healing. Here's to finding the best thing that comes from endings — new beginnings.

10 Ways To Get Over Your Ex

Here are some ways how to get over your ex. There are many more, but here are my top 10.

1. Reflect and Ask Yourself the Following Questions

Before you rush into the next relationship, take some time to reflect on why your previous one ended in the first place. Relationship experts suggest asking yourself questions like: "What can I learn from this experience?" "Was I really happy?" or "Was I compromising my best interest?"

Reflection will not only aid in personal growth but can help you realize the main reasons and that perhaps the end of a relationship was the right thing. It can also help you create a new relationship with more wisdom.

2. Step out of your comfort zone and focus on you

The end of the relationship is the perfect time for self-improvement. Utilize this time to engage in activities that you've always wanted to do and try new things. Join a class, pick up a hobby, do some volunteer work, or learn a new language.

Pushing yourself out of your comfort zone can lead to personal growth and increased self-confidence, preparing you better for your next relationship. You might even find a new hobby.

3. Use that Support System

Don't isolate yourself. Reach out to your family members and friends, including mutual friends. Despite how you might feel, you're not alone. People who care about you would want to be there for you. Let them.

Spending time with them will only help. They can provide comfort, wisdom, and perspective. The first thing to remember is that you have a support system and it's not a bad thing to lean on them - If anything, it's a great idea.

4. Look to the future

It's easy to get caught in the past, particularly after a breakup. However, remind yourself that this too shall pass. Envision a better life, one where you're happier, and hold onto that image.

Keeping a positive outlook will help you heal and prepare you for a healthier and more fulfilling relationship in the future.

5. Work on any obsessive thoughts

After the end of a relationship, particularly a long-term relationship, it's common to experience obsessive thoughts about your former partner. Remember that it's normal to miss them and have feelings of sadness. However, don't let these intrusive thoughts consume you.

Engage in activities you enjoy, meditate, or talk to a trusted friend when these thoughts get overwhelming. Acknowledge your strong emotions. However, remind yourself that just because of what you're experiencing in your own head, does not mean it has to dictate your reality.

Related Post - How To Deal With Obsessive Thoughts: 10 Tips and Ways

6. Get in your feelings and feel them

Having a hard time after a breakup is one of the hardest things we go through as human beings. It's okay to mourn the end of your relationship. In fact, allowing yourself to experience negative feelings can actually be a great way to heal. Feel free to have a good cry - or multiple - but try not to dwell.

It might sound counterproductive, but giving yourself permission to feel can lead to a quicker emotional recovery. After all, as Marilyn Monroe famously said, "Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

7. Make new connections

Having a strong support network is crucial during this period. If your previous relationship involved a shared friend group, this might be a great time to meet new people. Join clubs, start new hobbies, or attend social events.

Making new friends can provide a fresh start, helping you create new memories that aren't associated with your previous relationship.

8. Maintain distance from your Ex

This might sound harsh, but it's often necessary, especially in the early stages of a breakup. If possible, avoid checking up on your former partner on social media, as this can prevent you from moving on in real life.

It's important to create some space for yourself to heal. Remember, out of sight often leads to out of mind. This frees you to focus on more important things.

9. Time for some Self Love

There's no denying that breakups are hard, so don't forget to indulge in some self-care. Whether it's a spa day, a night out with friends, or simply enjoying a tub of your favorite ice cream, do something that makes you happy - ideally in a healthy way.

With time, you'll start to heal, and who knows, in the long run, you might even find your true love in the process. It's all about creating positivity in your life during this tough time.

10. Get some help from a pro (if necessary)

A lot of times, we underestimate the emotional toll a breakup can take on us. There's no shame in seeking professional help during this difficult time. A counselor or a therapist can provide guidance and perspective, making you understand that losing a relationship isn't the worst thing.

In fact, it's often the only way to find the right person who can make us happy. A relationship coach isn't exclusively for couples. They can also help individuals, before, during, and even after relationships. The same goes for a relationship counselor.

Recommended Post - How To Be Happy When You Are Sad: Tips To Feel Better

Bonus Tip: Get back out into the world of Dating

When you feel ready, consider exploring dating apps or asking common friends to set you up on casual dates. Now, don't rush this step. Remember that it's okay to enjoy your own company before jumping back into a romantic relationship. But a little bit of flirtation and a change of scenery can do wonders for your healing process. Not to mention, it might even bring about the beautiful feelings of love associated with starting a new, healthy relationship.

However, it's crucial to fully let go of your ex before embarking on this journey, ensuring that past wounds don't sabotage your future happiness. Enjoy this process as an opportunity for new experiences, and most importantly, self-discovery.

Let's face it, breakups are tough.

They can leave us feeling devastated and sometimes, even trigger mental health issues. But remember, it's the most important steps taken in the aftermath of heartbreak that shapes our recovery. Your strength to let go of the past and embrace change symbolizes growth and resilience.

Just like New York City, a metropolis constantly evolving yet treasuring its old haunts, you too can remember your past relationship fondly without it paralyzing your present. It's crucial to remember that relationships end for a reason and pining for an ex back often leads to a vicious cycle of pain and disappointment.

Something To Think About

Now is the time to utilize your free time, as an opportunity to rebuild and rejuvenate yourself. As a social worker would advise, surround yourself with positive influences and keep your mind engaged in healthy activities.

It's not uncommon to feel isolated in this process but remember, a lot of people have walked the path you're on right now and have emerged stronger. Be cautious about becoming obsessive lovers, letting past relationships dictate your future.

Finally, celebrate your progress, no matter how small. Each day is a victory in itself. Embrace your singlehood, change that phone number if it helps, and start afresh. This experience, as painful as it may be right now, has the potential to transform you into a stronger and more resilient person.

Hold on to that hope, because better days are surely ahead. You've got this.

This post was about How to Get Over Your Ex: Ways to Move On with Life